Surprises | Twenty

I have realized through various instances throughout my life that the more I don’t expect, the more I feel surprised by life.

When you set expectations, no matter how high or low, you set yourself up for disappointment. Disappointment of forms close to fulfillment or complete unpredictability that end up making you feel like everything you ever think of gets cursed and the universe plays out against you on purpose.

Well, sometimes when you expect nothing that you’d WANT to expect, you end up getting exactly what you would’ve wished for or wanted. Unlike the Attraction Law mentioned in The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (one of my favorite books which I unfortunately love to prove wrong every chance I get), thinking like things often gets you nowhere but in the path of the unlike things that you’d never wished for. The more I think about something I really need, the more I realize I move farther away from it; which has brought me to believe in the art of not thinking about something too much and just going for it. So, as an example,  if I wish to become a happier person, I wouldn’t keep thinking about it but rather throw myself into things that might just bring me happiness which is exactly when I move away from self imposed predictability and comfort, moving into a space which is unpredictable, surprising and challenging.

So, moral of the story – don’t think about anything for more time than normal and just set yourself free. Let your intuition guide you and prepare to be surprised by life. Trust me, it’s way better than having a plan (because they always change anyway)!

– R.S, 17

You Let Me Fix It | Six

This is an open letter to the girl I have compared myself to throughout my school years.

It is not your fault!

Although comparison causes insecurity and jealousy, I would instead like to thank you for being better than me (at least that’s what I think). As you walked around the corridor with your friends laughing and giggling, I stared wondering ‘how do you manage this all?’. As our next lesson starts and we are assigned a task for the weekend I vow to do it and give it my best whilst you decide where to host another party. The thought that you aren’t sincere crosses my mind, you have the pretty face and that nice girl personality and yes let’s all admit that NOT ALL BOYS ARE OVER YOU but there are some striving to impress you, whereas here I am, sitting at home typing that lab report. It’s unfair at times

I thought you know, because even you did have problems in life but you have your freedom to go party and wear what you want and those pretty looks. They’ll compensate for something too! No, Im not saying your’e bad or anything negative, I just ..i just wonder why couldn’t I have a peaceful family, that carefree environment or someone’s attention at least. I’m not the unluckiest human I have stable friendship and do fairly well in academics too. Whenever my friends and I discuss it we always come to a conclusion that maybe working hard for a good college will solve our problems. And the whole point I’m trying to convey here is I have a low self- esteem and I compared myself to you but there is something I have noticed I never hated you, I only find it unfair that I am sincere and on the other hand you party and socialize but also study and if you can have the freedom to balance why cant i? But you know what its not your problem.. you never asked for it you just have it and I don’t blame myself either maybe someday I will be as content as you are and till then maybe yes I’ll still compare myself but no, not with hatred or jealousy ill do it become a better person like you are so I’d like to thank you for unintentionally showing me my flaws and not acknowledging it while I molded myself into a nice person.

I hope you do well, in fact better than anyone, you completely deserve to be happy!

– P.S, 17